Forbidden Fruit
by Tabris Macbeth
Summary: The best things in life are the things you're not supposed to have.
1. The Late Goodbye

Forbidden Fruit by Tabris Macbeth  
  
rated R for sexuality and language  
  
disclaimer: Take a big ol' leap in logic to figure out whether or not I own anything anyone would ever write fan fiction for.   
  
Chapter 1: The Late Goodbye  
  
The chase was over. Jinx was cornered. She still smiled, though. It had all been a game, and now, it was getting to the most exciting part.  
Her body was trembling as her pursuer came towards her, one slow step after another. She gasped as her wrists were grabbed and pinned against the wall. Hot, moist breath clinged to her neck. Without warning, her pursuer's tongue was shoved into her mouth. She had no control over the situation, and she was loving it.  
It wasn't long before she got what she wanted. Her hunter's body pressed hard against hers. Jinx let out a moan as her mouth was finally freed. She clenched her teeth as she felt gentle bites inching down her neck. They gradually grew harder and harder, but not hard enough to draw blood. She was being teased. The fine line between pain and pleasure was being blurred away as she was being toyed with.  
Jinx found her hands were free now. Instead of pushing away from her captor, she pulled, ensuring that she wouldn't get away. The hands that had previously restrained her now explored her body. They ran down her back, fingertips tracing along her spine. She loved that feeling. That tingle surging along her back, spreading across her body in a surge of electricity.  
The hands slid down her sides, along her hips, and up her skirt. She was lifted up, and she wrapped her legs around her lover. Kisses gently made their way down her collarbone, to the center of her chest. Once again, she was teased. The kisses made their way back up, denying her the pleasure that was building up inside. But that was what her lover wanted. The pressure was welling up inside, and when it was released, it would be in a brilliant explosion.  
One by one, Jinx felt the buttons on her blouse become undone. The cold night air sent shivers along her bare skin. The kisses headed back down, making their way to the middle of her chest, then veering right. She could barely contain herself. Her breathing became heavier with each small bite that was delivered. She felt like she would cry out of pure pleasure. She couldn't take it much longer.  
She winced, both out of the cooling saliva on her sensitive chest and out of the sensation of penetration. Her body tensed as her senses were overwhelmed. In that moment of ecstasy, the world around her was a blur. The only thing that registered was the taste of her lover's mouth and a sudden feeling of dizzying release. As she came too, she saw her lover's eyes and smiled.  
"I love you." she said in an emotionally drained voice.  
"I love you too."  
It was just a whisper in her ear, but she heard it loud and clear.  
When Raven pulled her hood back up, Jinx frowned.  
"I should go. The guys might start to worry."  
"No they won't." Jinx said in a huff, "They think all you do all day is meditate. What'll they care?"  
"They're my friends. They find out I missing for long periods of time, they'll worry."  
Jinx turned away.  
"They don't know, do they?"  
"I can't tell them. Dating criminals isn't exactly something superheroes are supposed to do."  
"Are you sure that's the reason?" Jinx said bitterly.  
"Jinx, don't do this to me."  
Raven had to keep her cool. She couldn't let herself give in to emotions, whether they were hers or Jinx's.  
"I have a responsibility to my friends and this city. It took me a long time to gain their trust. Going out with one of the quote/unquote 'bad guys'...they wouldn't be able to handle that."  
"You mean bad girls, don't you? You can't handle that you are attracted to a girl."  
Raven didn't say anything.  
"So...is this it? The only times we'll see each other is if I break the law or if we want to fuck?"  
"Don't say it like that." Raven weakly whispered.  
"That's what we do, right? We don't do any other sort of couple stuff."  
There was a long, awkward silence.  
"Maybe we should...just go our separate ways." Jinx finally said.  
Raven let out a stifled gasp.  
"Jinx..."  
Against her own will, it came out as a whimper.  
"Hey, maybe it's for the best. You're good, I'm bad. I wouldn't mind joining the Titans, but...yeah, fat chance."  
A labored smiled crossed her lips.  
"Heh. And...let's face it. Between your powers and mine, we'd end up destroying the world one of these days."  
Raven turned away. She had to be the strong one. Like always.  
"I guess this is goodbye, then."  
"Yeah."  
Jinx watched her fly off. She felt like speaking up, but she couldn't summon the strength. Like every time they parted, she watched helplessly as she flew out of reach, shrinking into a dot in the horizon.  
"I wish I was a bird." she thought, "I'd love to be able to fly away from everything. Or at least fly with you."  
With a deep sigh, she started on the long walk home. In her mind, she told herself Raven was her enemy. She didn't love her. She never did love her. She had only gotten close to her to use her against her own team.  
She hoped saying that would numb the pain.  
It didn't.   
  
author's notes: Holy freaking, flying, flipping, chrome plated, multi- colored HELL! I wrote something erotic! I told myself that I- being the dignified, proud man I am- would never write porn. When I first came up with this, I had this idea about a story where a hero and a villain were in love. Naturally, my unhealthy fixation with lesbians demanded I make both parties girls. And then...well...it just took on a life of it's own. It was totally out of my hands. Imagine my surprise at the final product.  
  
Well, this was originally gonna be a one shotter, but the people have spoken! Many thanks to all my reviewers!  
The title for this chapter comes from ending theme of Max Payne 2: "The Late Goodbye", by Poets of the Fall. That song was a big inspiration for this story. When I was writing this, the ending from Max Payne 2 popped into my head. Watch the ending, listen to the song, and it'll make sense. Just feels right, somehow... 


	2. The Lingering Regrets

Chapter 2: The Lingering Regrets

Her mind wandered to thoughts of other failed romances. She wondered what Juliet must have thought when she kissed her lover that one last time before plunging his dagger into her heart. Death must have been such a sweet thought at the time. But when she was in her dying moments, what then? Did she realize that Romeo had abandoned her, choosing to run away, rather than live with her while enduring the people who did not accept their love? Was she spiteful of his decision? Did she regret ever loving him? Did she hate him for the pain she felt? All this echoed so very familiar to her. The dagger had been plunged in that alley last night. She laid on her bed, slowly dying a painful death.

Maybe there was a reason to pull the dagger out. To figure it out, she had to go back to the beginning, find out how this all started.

Jinx sat upside down on the couch, legs dangling over the back. This was her official manner of sitting when she was bored. Then a newspaper, also upside down, dropped in front of her face.

"Another one for your collection." said Gizmo, not sounding particularly thrilled with Jinx's hobby.

She had been cutting out news articles lately. To be more specific, articles involving the Teen Titans.

Jinx spun around, narrowing missing Gizmo's head as her legs swung down.

"What _is_ your deal?" he said.

"Know thy enemy." Jinx said as she started snipping away, "Wasn't that in The Art of War or something?"

That was only half the reason she had taken a liking to this lazy approach to intelligence collecting. The real reason was in the picture, blurry and half obscured by Cyborg's shoulder.

Jinx was at an odd place in her life. She wasn't the least bit shy, but she found herself reluctant to talk about this. Maybe it was because this concerned an enemy or because this concerned another girl, but she had found herself in love with Raven.

How did this get started? This had to be the worst possible scenario. Raven was a rival, an enemy. Raven was a stable pillar of law and order, and Jinx was a crazy little bedlamite who made a living off of breaking the law. Maybe that was what attracted her to Raven, as weird as that sounded. She was stable, calm, cool, mysterious.

Maybe that was how it started. It was all about curiosity, wasn't it? She just _had_ to know about her, inside and out. Not that was possible. Her obvious legal problems aside, Raven didn't strike her as the open type. From what she remembered of her room, it was dark. Unfortunately, that was the _only_ thing she remembered. Just a whole lot of dark.

"So," she thought, "How do you get into the head of someone like that? Can't just walk up to her and say 'Heya, Ravy! Mind if we chat? Doin' an article for the Hive weekly newsletter. I get extra credit if you tell me your most intimate secrets.'. I wonder what she'd say if I called her that. I wonder if...she's into girls, at all. She might have a thing going with one of her teammates. Like Starfire! Oooh! Dirty thought! Hehe! Her and Starfire...or that one blonde they had with them a while back...or all three of them...hehe..."

As she got lost in her own dirty internal ramblings, she didn't realize she had completely forgotten about clipping out that article and was now staring into empty space, grinning like an idiot.

"You alright?" Mammoth said as he poked her.

"Oh, yeah." she said, snapping back to the outside world, "Just...what if you fell in love with someone, but they were...let's say, on the other side of the law? Y'know, the anti-breaking side?"

"Well, kinda had a thing for Gadget from Rescue Rangers when I was little."

"Eeeew!" Gizmo groaned as he rummaged around in their dorm's mini-fridge, "Too much information!"

"Ditto." said Jinx, "I'm talking about a real person. Like...I guess...a cop, or..."

"A stinkin' Titan!" Gizmo screamed in amusement, "That's it, isn't it! You still have the hots for Cy-butt!"

"I do not!"

"Yeah, right!" Mammoth joined in, "You wanna ride robo-wang!"

Jinx tried not to laugh at that. She was trying to be serious, but it was hard not to giggle at "robo-wang".

"Or maybe Beast Boy?" Mammoth said as he elbowed her, "He can change into _big_ animals! Get what I'm saying?"

"Yes, unfortunately, I do."

"Like a _sperm_ whale?"

"Yeah, I-"

"Or a _hump_ back?" Gizmo snickered.

During the laughter that followed, defecting to the other side seemed ever so appealing.

"Hey, Raven?"

She just _had_ to be sitting next to him, didn't she?

"Remember that time when we first met Aqualad?"

"Is there any reason why you're waxing nostalgic?" she mumbled.

"Dude! I just realized I turned into a _sperm_ whale!"

"Actually, you turned into a _hump_ back!" Cyborg pointed out.

Beast Boy and Cyborg burst into laughter, while Robin- being the leader- tried to retain the dignity and respect the position called for and keep his own smirk from showing. Starfire did what she had learned to do in situations where she didn't know why something was funny: She faked a laugh and leaned in to ask Raven why what they said was funny.

Raven should have called shotgun. She was sandwiched in the car with Beast Boy to her right, and Starfire to her left. One had been telling bad jokes the whole trip and the other was asking why they were funny. She was probably the last person to ask as to why Beast Boy's jokes were funny.

"Sweet merciful God!" she thought, "Please let a crime occurrence! Bank robbery, purse snatching, anything!"

Her prayer was answered in the form of an explosion from a high-end jewelry store only a couple blocks away.

"Just these three?" Beast Boy groaned when they reached the scene, "Dude, we kick you butts _every_ time!"

"He's got a point." Robin shrugged, "Just cut out the middle man and give yourselves up."

Obviously, that wasn't going to happen. The foreseeable fight ensued, Robin and Starfire taking Mammoth while Cyborg and Beast Boy took on Gizmo. Raven had Jinx all to herself.

"I'm really getting sick of this." she said, "You never learn, do you? It's the same tired routine every time."

"Aaaah!" Jinx playfully pouted, "You don't like playing with me, Ravy?"

A chunk of floor exploded in a mess of rubble and black energy.

"Don't call me 'Ravy'."

Jinx pranced around, gracefully doing Raven's attacks and calling her "Ravy".

"What's the matter?" she grinned, "Am I throwing you off? It's just a cute li'l name I made up for you. Does it bother you that much, Ravy?"

Jinx giggled as she fled out the back, Raven in hot pursuit. As Jinx found herself at a dead end in a back alley, Raven realized too late it was a trap.

"Uh oh!" said Jinx in a rather sarcastic tone, "Seems you've got me, Ravy!"

Raven surveyed the area for anything Jinx could use. Seeing as that was just about anything, she froze in her tracks. She would have to wait until she made the next move.

"What? You're just gonna stand there? Maybe...you need something to lure you over here..."

Much to her shock, Jinx undid a couple of buttons on her blouse.

"Oh my! It is a rather hot day, isn't it?" she said as she fanned herself.

"Not really."

"Really? You look hot..."

She did feel hot, for some reason. Must have been the compounding aggravations of the day. She was out of her brand of tea, her reading time was interrupted by a blackout caused when Cyborg had to reboot the security system because of some bootleg game Beast Boy had downloaded, her meditation was interrupted several times by Starfire's need to do some female bonding, and, of course, there was that whole whale thing from only a few minutes ago.

"Do you think I'm attractive?"

Raven slowly walked towards her. She tried to shrug off the question, but with each step, it started snowballing. She _was_ rather attractive, wasn't she? Not that she let her mind wander to such things. But still, she did have a respect for Jinx's interesting sense of aesthetics. She did have a dark, if flamboyant, sense of fashion, and she always handled herself with such grace in battle. She always danced around, either dodging attacks by skill or- most likely- sheer luck. Her powers were potentially even more destructive than Raven's, but she pranced about like a carefree child. It was almost kind of...what was the word? She couldn't quite find the word for it in her mind. She felt it, yes, but...

What was that she felt? She remembered feeling this before, and nothing good ever came from it. It had betrayed her twice. Twice she unwittingly let this foreign emotion get the best of her, and as she found herself only a foot or so away from her opponent, it seemed she might be falling into this trap for a third time.

"You think I'm up to something, don't you?" the seductive sorceress in front of her said, her voice as soft and playful as her smile, "Well...I am!"

It was too late. With a flick of the wrist, an arc of cursed energy soared straight at Raven's face, and there wasn't enough time to react. Much to her surprise, however, nothing happened, except for her hood getting pulled down by a sudden breeze.

"You look good like that." Jinx said, "Not just that priceless look on your face, but with your hood down. Shouldn't be covering up such a pretty face."

Raven had to focus. There was something she wasn't seeing yet. Something she needed to keep her guard up for.

"You've got me. Whatcha gonna do with me?"

To hell with it. Part of her knew what she wanted, knew that she needed it after the day she was having, and it was right there, all wrapped up in black lace.

"You've got me all to yourself. What _do_ you want to do to me?"

Part of her knew what she wanted. She wanted to rip her clothes off, look over her prize. Touch her, feel her, taste her. Get deep, deep inside her.

Raven suddenly noticed something, her heart skipping a beat or two at the realization. She and Jinx were touching. She could feel her warm breath on her lips. If she just leaned in a little...

"I can't." she said.

That playful grin Jinx always wore dropped off. There was a hollow look in her eyes now. Those sweet pink eyes of hers.

Without a word, she pushed Raven aside and ran off into the opposite direction. When her friends asked, she would say Jinx got away.

The night was pretty quiet for a night in the city. The weather man had predicted rain, but despite the dark clouds looming in the sky, there wasn't a drop. It was a nice reflection of Jinx's mood: Dark and gloomy, but not a drop came out. It was brooding, building up inside her, just like rain was building up in those clouds.

She just wandered around the streets, looking for something to do. Maybe she should bust out her teammates, but they would live through the night. Besides, it wasn't as if they couldn't do break out themselves. Right now, she needed a distraction. She knew if she rescued them, they would only get on her case about why she had just disappeared like that.

She couldn't, she wouldn't. She rejected her. It keep stinging each time she thought about it, and she thought about it for the rest of the day. She couldn't have fallen for a criminal, could she? Or a guy, at least? A guy would have made things so much simpler. With a guy, she had a slight chance, even if he normally viewed her as an enemy. But no. She was in love with a girl, and one that- by all logic- hated her guts.

Her aimless wandering inadvertently lead her back to that jewelry store she had hit earlier in the day. The gaping hole was covered in police tape, every shiny, pretty piece of jewelry tucked away somewhere safe. Or at least it was supposed to be, as she caught notice of something on the ground. By some miracle, this earring had somehow managed to avoid detection. Fairly valuable, when Jinx examined it.

"Perhaps today hasn't been a total bust." she said, her usual grin slowly returning.

Her grin was quick to drop back into it's previous frown. Who was she kidding? Some lousy piece of jewelry wasn't going to redeem this day. She tossed the earring back in the store with a sigh. It was a sad state of affairs when she couldn't enjoy a nice, pricey fashion accessory.

She walked down that alley again. That alley where it was all supposed to come together, but all fell apart.

"They always come back to the scene of the crime."

She blinked. Had she heard that, or was that just some wild hope drifting around her mind?

When Raven turned her around and pinned her to the wall, the answer became clear.

"It seems I caught you again." she said with a small smirk.

This wasn't happening, was it? No, this all had to be Jinx's grief stricken mind playing out some delusional little fantasy. Raven pressing herself up hard against her, rubbing up against an exposed leg, her mouth greedily taking in Jinx's. It couldn't be real.

"Wha-" Jinx managed to gasp out.

Raven withdrew for a moment. That look in her eyes...something so ravenous...so hungry...so beautiful...

"Please." she whispered, "I need this."

If she had not been so caught up in the moment, Jinx would have giggled in triumphant glee. That wasn't the case, though, so she grabbed Raven's head, pressing together tender lips and dancing tongues.

The weatherman had been right, after all. Slowly, light droplettes tapped on the ground below, easing those below into what would be a downpour. To Jinx, they felt so icy cold as they hit her hot skin, only serving to drive the assault on her senses harder. Each kiss tasted more and more bittersweet, a taste she couldn't quite identify, but craved so desperately.

The rain began picking up, the drops falling a little harder. As Raven start to run a finger up her thigh, Jinx could only squeak out a shuddered moan to urge her on. Her finger went up her stalking, the fabric teasingly denying her the feeling of that bare finger touching her own skin. She traced upwards, to the small, bare patch between her stalking and her panties. Surprisingly, instead of leading her finger to it's ultimate destination right away, her hand slipped around to the back, both cradling and pushing Jinx into her harder. When she was sure there was absolutely, positively no more empty space between them, Raven resumed her inquiry. Her hand slipped down her undergarments, taking in the gentle curve as she finally reached what they both wanted so bad.

Jinx gasped, clinging onto her partner as she rode this wave of pleasure. Rain was pouring down in sheets now. This was her storm, she realized. As the rain poured down, as an explosion of pleasure erupted from inside her, she realized this was definitely her storm. It had been building up all night, and now it was released with such brilliant, wonderful passion.

Raven. Sweet Raven. This was her storm, too. Alone, they were two gloomy little clouds. Together, though, they were this beautiful storm. Every rain drop was an emotion, a pented up little desire that had ached to be realized, and it had all poured out in this storm of hunger and passion.

As their hearts slowed, as the kisses became softer, the rain eased itself into a light shower. The girls, both drenched to the bone, laughed a little.

"We should both go home." said Raven, "We'll catch our deaths if we don't dry off."

Just as she turned away, Jinx said it. She didn't know why she had said it, just then.

"I love you."

Maybe it was to keep her for just a moment longer.

"I...love you, too."

Or maybe it was to find the answer she was hoping so hard for.

"She loves me."

Her legs turned to jelly as she watched Raven fly off. She was sitting in a puddle now, her clothes completely soaked, her trademark hair flattened, but at that very moment, she was on top of the world.

Raven sat on the same rock she always did; The one on the cliff, facing northwest, the Tower a small beacon in the distance. This was Raven's spot. Far enough into the wilderness to be alone with her thoughts, but close enough to still see home. It was a perfect little place.

It was, anyway. Raven couldn't quite sit still today. She should be meditating, but for some reason, she found herself...bored. Her mind drifted to that night again.

"It was a mistake. I just let my hormones get the better of me, which is why I'm here. I'm above these sort of desires...so why isn't my body listening!"

Her body disagreed with her. It didn't feel like a mistake. It felt like the greatest night of her life. It was so great, her body wanted to remember it again.

"It...it was just sex. Just the act of reproduction...which I performed on another girl. No, forget about it. It was just a one time thing. Your curiosity has been satisfied, so let it go already."

Her body didn't want to forget, to let go. She wanted to feel it again.

No, she wanted more.

She gasped, taking her hand off her leg. Her skin felt so hyper sensitive all of a sudden.

"I'm not supposed to feel these things! I don't want to feel these things! Why am I feeling this!"

As she put her hand down, she failed to notice it was creeping up her leg.

No. It wasn't her hand. It was Jinx's. Her hand was traveling up her thigh, gently rubbing up and down to calm her over-excited lover. When she calmed her enough, a finger slipped under her leotard, tracing along where she had been taught was the most private, sacred part of a woman.

"Jinx..."

A tear rolled down her cheek. She shouldn't be feeling these things, she shouldn't be touching herself there, but it felt so good, so beautiful, so wonderful. She wanted to share this with Jinx, but she knew she couldn't. She couldn't share it with anyone, but she needed someone. She needed Jinx. Sweet little Jinx with the pink eyes and silly hair, with the soft and playful voice of an innocent devil, an angel with black lace wings.

A strange tingle brought Raven's senses back into focus.

"Peek-a-boo!"

Much to Raven's horror, Jinx was sitting in the branch of a nearby tree, legs swinging about aimlessly.

"Hi there!" she waved, "Small world, huh?"

"What are doing here!"

She tried to hide the fear in her voice by sounding angry, but it still slipped out.

Now her body and mind were in agreement. She had made a horrible, terrible mistake that night.

"If you want answers..."

Jinx fell back, grabbing hold of the limb as she fell. She swung forward, flipping through the air and landing squarely on her feet, arms outstretched. She turned around on the ball of one foot, her back now to Raven.

Raven shot forward, but she had realized too late what would happen.

"CATCH ME!"

Jinx sped just out of her grasp, rebounding back into the trees.

What sort of game was she playing? She was here to torment her, wasn't she? Jinx was here to tease Raven, reminding her of that night that never should have been. Of the one thing she could never have.

She lost track of Jinx after a couple minutes.

"Damn silly girl. You think she would fall with all that prancing around she was doing."

Raven let herself down onto her knees.

"Why don't you just fall down and break your neck, and just leave me be?"

She cried. She didn't bother trying to hold it back because she had no desire.

Jinx. Sweet, silly little Jinx. Raven hated her so much for being her. She was guilty as sin, yet purely innocent. It wasn't the kind of innocence Starfire had. Starfire was a sweet, naive little thing. That was the kind of innocence the world loved to trample on, making a person hate having feelings. No, this was a crazy kind of innocence. Something just as sweet, just as naive, but couldn't be crushed. Her view of the world wasn't black and white, like most people see things. It was a flurry of different colors that didn't seem to mix well at all. Like blue and pink. Raven could be more at ease if only Jinx would have played by the rules. Raven was good, Jinx was bad. It should be as simple as that. Simple as black and white.

Jinx was a crazy kind of innocent. She reminded her a bit of Terra.

"You okay?"

A soft voice came from above her. The voice of an innocent devil.

Raven looked up, expecting to see Jinx's smirking face. But it wasn't there. She was wearing a sad, worried little frown. The mischievous glint in her eyes was missing, replace by genuine concern. It surprised Raven. Almost as much as the pink panties that were in full view.

_Pink_ panties? She wore _pink_ panties? And was that a bow on the elastic band? It all looked so comically inappropriate, she just had to laugh.

"Hey!" Jinx screamed, pulling her dressed back down (or up, rather), "No free shows!"

She flipped off the perch and landed in front of Raven.

"If you wanna see my no-no parts, you need-"

She jumped back just as Raven made a snatch for her.

"Hey! That's cheating! You got me worried just to lure me in!"

"Sorry." Raven giggled, "I'll give you a three second head start."

As the pursuit continued, she couldn't help but smile. Jinx hadn't come to torment her. Being the crazy-innocent little thing she was, she just wanted to play. And come to think of it, Raven did, too.

It didn't take long before she lost track of Jinx again. She had lead Raven in the direction of a small cave, then just disappeared. Considering "Jinx's Clubhouse" was written on a rock next to the enterance in purple chalk, it wasn't a huge leap in logic where she disappeared to.

"Oh yeah." she said to herself as she entered, "This is Jinx's clubhouse, alright."

Black candles were lit, resting on small rocks and in crevices. The walls were plastered with heavy metal posters, comical bumper stickers, and news clipping relating to the Titans. In the center of it all was Jinx, pretending to be scared and meek.

"Oh no!" she gasped, trying to suppress a giggle, "You found my secret lair!"

"Some secret." Raven smirked, "So, before I give you the spanking of a lifetime for interrupting meditation, what _are_ you doing here?"

Jinx turned away as the smile started fading from her lips.

"I run away sometimes. I just get sick of things, you know? I don't always wanna be Jinx the mercenary or Jinx the thief. I just sometimes wanna be Jinx."

Just then, Raven felt disgusted by herself. Jinx was a person. Not just some evil villianess, not just some personal play thing. She had her own thoughts and feelings, and Raven had totally disregarded them that night just so she could have her fun, and she was doing it again. It made her sick. This was the exact reason why she had to be above these feelings.

"Wanna see my boobs?"

She suddenly noticed Jinx's face was maybe an inch or so away from hers, a huge ear-to-ear grin back on her face.

"Pardon?" Raven said meekly.

"My boobs." Jinx said as she stuck her chest out, "C'mon! Are you curious? Or maybe we wanna see my panties again?"

Raven took a few steps back, blushing furiously as her mind tried to get a grasp of what was going on here.

"Wha? You- You wanted to spank me a moment ago, and now..."

Jinx turned her nose and gave a "Hmph!" as she spun around.

"If you don't wanna see my ta-tas, fine! It's not like I wanted to show you! You'd just make fun of my breast size, anyway!"

What to do, what to do. Raven wanted to see, but she would feel like a pervert just blurting it out like that. She didn't want to hurt Jinx's feelings, but she didn't want to seem...

There was that smile again, as she looked over her shoulder.

"You need to relax, Ravy." she giggled.

She turned back around, revealing that she had been unbuttoning her blouse when her back was turned.

"You're...not wearing a bra?" Raven said, noting the lack of anything other than skin peeking out.

"I don't like them. Too constricting."

She tried to keep her hands from shaking. It would be so easy to just reach out and grab her, but she had to show constraint. She was a strong young woman, after all. She didn't give in to her emotions so easily. But she was so close. And her blouse was slipping of her shoulders. And Jinx, out of her twisted sense of humor, was humming old fashion stripping music.

"What do you think of the girls?"

Raven bit her lip. Those weren't breasts. Those were smooth, gentle, graceful extensions of the captivating young woman in front of her, and she wanted nothing more than to touch them. She wanted to touch her all over, to taste every inch of creamy skin on the girl's body.

"You think they're too small." Jinx pouted, "I know I'm not all that big..."

Raven shook her head numbly.

"What? You don't think I'm too small?"

They were the most perfect pair of breasts she had ever seen, complimenting her petite dancer's figure so perfectly, that she must be the creation of a higher power.

"They...they're just right..."

Jinx guided Raven's shaking hands to her breasts.

"Relax, Ravy." she whispered, "Just relax."

How could she relax? She was holding these gorgeous orbs in her hands. So soft, but so firm. It was totally cliché', but no less true. It was like a blanket of softness wrapped around a core of firmness. It reminded her of candy, for some reason. Candy did fit Jinx well, though. Her hair, her eyes, they both screamed "candy". And her taste. She tasted like peppermint that night. That sweet taste had lingered in her mouth for sometime afterwards. She had to wonder what the rest of her body would taste like.

She bit her lip. She couldn't just do that, could she? Jinx seemed none too shy about all this, but where was the line? What would cause Jinx to reel back in fear and disgust? Would it be okay to do that? Should she ask?

"Ravy." Jinx giggled softly, "You really need to relax."

"Jinx...is it okay if I...put your..."

This was absurd. She was a strong young woman, and yet, she felt like a shy little girl.

"Things..." she whispered, "In my...mouth?"

"Are you talking about my TITS!"

Raven recoiled, both at the word and Jinx's suddenly raised voice, much to her amusement.

"You wanna suck my TITTIES, RAVEN OF THE TEEN TITANS!" Jinx yelled, her voice echoing every which way throughout the small cave.

What an odd sight this was. Jinx was laughing uproariously, her topless chest bouncing and jiggling with each chuckle. She laughter died down when she saw Raven wasn't laughing, instead turned a bright shade of red.

"Sorry," she said, trying to calm down the last of her giggles, "But why are you whispering? Aside from maybe Grizzly Adams, there's no one else here. It's just you and me. Don't be afraid to just go totally boob crazy."

It was intoxicating. Jinx wanted her to be herself. No keeping under control, no having to be strong. She could fully indulge herself in the guilty little pleasures she always pushed to the darkest corners of her mind.

She was cautious at first, planting soft kisses. Feeling Jinx's hand on the back of her head, gently stroking her, she knew it was alright to let loose her desires. Each kiss took in more, each nip and suck growing a little harder.

Jinx's moans urged her hunger on. It wasn't that melodramatic porn movie kind of moaning. It was soft and light, a reflex brought about by all this nipping and sucking on that sensitive little bud. She let out a sharp gasp after a paticularly hard bite.

"Ravy!" she squealed, "You aren't gonna me hangin', are you!"

Raven wasted no time in sending a hand up her skirt, but just as she was about to shove it down her underwear, she paused. Jinx wasn't the only one who could be mischievous.

Her fingers drifted down, right between her legs. She traced a finger up and down over a spot of moistness.

"Ravy! Don't tease me!"

Poor Jinx was squirming so much now. She rubbed up against the teasing finger, vainly trying to get something more than a tickle. As that moist spot grew more damp, Raven decided to quit teasing the poor girl and give her what she ached for. As she prepared to reach in and finish the job, something crossed her mind. She was still hungry. Hadn't she wanted to taste _all_ of Jinx? Part of her really wanted to ask if it was okay to do what she had in mind, but the rest of her already knew the answer.

Her hands pulled away, her mouth released the tender flesh she had been enjoying. She gave the mildly perplexed sorceress a kiss, hooked her fingers onto the waistband of her skirt, then gave a hard yank.

Jinx had such a beautiful body. She looked like a delicate china doll, with fair skin and gentle curves. Her black and blue stalkings clung to her legs, ending towards the top of her thighs. The colors suited her so well. There was no smooth transition, no subtly. She mixed colors that no one thought would mix together, like blue and pink. And speaking of pink...

Oh, yes. Candy did fit Jinx very well.

Raven managed to summon up enough self constrain to look up at Jinx's face, wanting just a little more guidance. She was shocked, surprisingly, but that gentle, delicate hand cradling her head told her what she wanted to her do. But if Jinx was surprised that Raven had gone this far, she couldn't prepare herself for what was next.

Raven _buried_ her face into her partner's sweet spot. Her hands reached around to the back, occupying themselves with the curves that were to be found there. Her mouth tried taking in all she could while her tongue went wild. One hand immediately abandoned it's former position and made a swift beeline inbetween Raven's own legs.

Sweet, sweet Jinx. Everything about her was so addictively sweet. What Raven tasted wasn't a normal, sugary kind of sweet, but it was sweet all the same. It was sweet because it was Jinx.

Jinx's breathing became heavy and sharp. Once again, no porn moaning, though she did wildly buck her hips as a flood of sweetness nearly drowned Raven. When the floodwaters subsided, Jinx slowly slid down against a wall until she and Raven were at eye level. She weakly pulled her head towards hers and kissed her. Then she started spitting and gagging.

"Oh crap!" she coughed, "Why'd I do _that!_ You've got me juice all over your mouth! Oh man...porno and femslash stories make that seem so much hotter..."

Raven giggled as turned around and leaned back onto her lover, nuzzling against her chest with a content hum.

"You comfy?" Jinx asked, amused to see Raven using her breasts as pillows.

"Mm hmm." she purred.

Raven looked up at her with half open eyes.

"Hey...I'm not really sure how these things work...but...are we officially girlfriends now?"

"I dunno..." Jinx said, pretending to be deep in thought, "We just had hot, horny sex...so we just met that qualification...how 'bout I be your girlfriend if you be mine?"

"Sounds good." she said as she closed her eyes, "I love you, Jinx."

"I..."

Jinx squirmed a bit.

"I think I'm sitting on a stick."

Raven softly laughed. Sweet, silly little Jinx. She was _her_ sweet, silly little Jinx now, just as she was her Raven.

"That reminds me..." she said, "You owe me a spanking. Lift your butt up."

"Geez, sister." Jinx laughed, "Are you a freakin' machine or what?"

Raven took her cloak off and scooted it under Jinx.

"Better?"

"Yes, much. Thanks. Love you, too, Raven."

Everything she had been taught was cast to the four winds now. That wasn't to say there weren't still things that would nag at her, but for now, she felt so at peace. She was safe here, in the arms of an innocent devil. An angel with black lace wings.

_"And we keep driving into the night..."_

Jinx sung into her brush as she admired herself in the mirror. She was in a singing mood. She was going out on a date with Raven. They had had a number of intimate moments together, but this would be their very first honest-to-goodness date with Raven. Of course, given the complexity of the situation, Jinx would have to play dress up. Not that she minded at all.

Her hair was down. That was certainly a first. She thought about putting it in pigtails, but that would have looked too similar to her usual style. And now, what to wear? Her usual boots and stalkings, for sure. Seeing as how it was almost guaranteed there would be no fighting, she was free to break out her good stuff, like that one skirt. The long, black one that was open along one side, allowing for a leg to peak out. She had always wanted a chance to wear it.

She browsed over her vast collection of blouses and t-shirts. She wanted something casual, but kind of sexy. Something that kind of went with legs peeking out of skirts.

"My 'Shirt Happens' shirt!" she squealed, "Raven'll get a kick out of-"

Off towards the end of her closet, buried behind tons of other shirts, skirts, and the like, was a black t-shirt with a white butterfly on it. Ingenious in it's simplicity, but simplicity's probably why she forgot about it.

She pulled it off the rack and slipped it on. Must have been something she bought a while back because it was rather snug. It clinged tightly to her bosom, it's small size showing off quite a bit of belly.

"Oh yeah. It's perfect."

Finally, the finishing touch: A choker with a small ahnk hanging from it.

"Pretty as a picture." Jinx said to herself, "I can't wait to see what Raven's done to herself!"

When she got to the theater, Raven was waiting for her. In jeans and a t-shirt. Black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt. Plain old jeans and a plain old t-shirt.

"Way to have fun going in cognito." Jinx pouted.

"I'm trying to blend in as much as a girl with a jewel between her eyes can. So, what's this movie we're seeing again?"

"Roses in the Autumn. A woman returns to her estranged mother's mansion when she learns she's dying."

"Chick flick." Raven muttered.

"Well, last time I checked, we're chicks. With vaginas and everything."

A small giggle escaped Raven's lips. Score one for her.

As they went inside, Jinx grabbed her lover's hand.

"What are you doing?" said Raven, a look of mild shock on her face.

"I'm holding my girlfriend's-"

"Quiet!" Raven said as she squirmed out of her grasp, "Someone might hear!"

"Well, maybe I should say-"

"Don't say it!"

"Raven..."

_"Don't say it!"_

"Likes..."

"Don't!"

"My..."

Darting her gaze back and forth, she reluctantly held Jinx's hand.

"Good girl." Jinx said, smiling and patting her on the head, "Now, let's make out."

She had to laugh at that look on Raven's face.

"Ravy, I'm joking. How many times do I have to tell you to freakin' relax?"

"That girl...the blonde, a few rows in front of us..."

Jinx noticed a blonde girl sitting a few rows down from their seats.

"Raven..." she gasped, "You...do you want a three way!"

"N-No! That girl...I'm pretty sure that's Killer Moth's daughter Kitten."

"Hold up." Jinx giggled, "The blonde chick there is Killer Moth's kid! You're joking! She doesn't have wings, she's not eating a sweater-"

"Yeah, I don't get it, either. Why anyone would...carry out the act of reproduction with Killer Moth boggles the mind, as well."

"How do you know her? Do you have a _villianess fetish?_"

"No. Killer Moth blackmailed Robin into dating her, once."

"I bet it was to make Starfire jealous. Kitten longed for her so badly, but she dared not let the world know of her secret love."

"Not every girl in the world is gay."

"Of course not. Some are bi."

Raven laughed softly and shook her head. Score another one for Jinx.

"You think Starfire's bi?" she said, a big, hopeful grin fixated on her face.

"Hers are a very emotional, passionate people." said Raven in the most monotone voice she could.

"Is that a yes!"

Raven just looked at her a moment, then turned to the screen.

"Good lord." she moaned as the coming attractions played, "How does Jimmy Fallon keep getting work?"

"Dude!" Jinx squealed, "Starfire's bi! Cool! You two ever do it!"

"You are such a pervert, you know that? No. I don't know what Starfire's into, but...there was this one incident when she first joined the Titans."

"You had to spank her for initiation?"

"No."

"There was _more!_ Oh man, I so wanna join you guys now!"

"No, pervert! I was taking a shower, and...Star joined me. She didn't know better at the time, but...admittedly...I liked it. I've never really thought about my sexuality before, but...I guess...you know..."

Raven, so well known for being cold and emotionally detached, was confiding in her. She just told her something meant for her and her alone. She trusted Jinx so much, she had opened up and revealed that small, precious truth to her.

"I realized I liked girls when I started masturbating to them, like the Joker's sidekick Harley."

Raven just looked at her.

"I'd imagine Batgirl would catch Harley and tied her up, and to punish her for her crimes, she would have to pleasure her. She would be reluctant at first, but-"

"You're a sick little girl, you know that?"

"Would you have it any other way? Or are you just saying that because you're jealous? Y'know...when I first saw you guys...my fantasies changed. Wanna hear?"

Noting that the current trailer was a remake of an old TV (and ignoring that these trailers seemed to go on forever), she leaned in.

"Starfire...uh...like, failed to save the world or something, so you take her over your knee and spank her. Then you start reaching up her dress, because you think she secretly like being spanked by you. She squirms at your touch, and begs to show her forgiveness by getting naked and-"

"Raven?"

Sitting off to Raven's left, snacks loaded up in her arms, was Starfire.

"Starfire?" Raven said, just barely managing to mask her shock, "What are you doing here?"

"I am here to see the film 'Roses in the Autumn'. I wished for Robin to accompany me, but he made a beeping sound and claimed that was special call from his communicator. What are you doing here?"

"Just...spending time with a friend."

"A friend?" Starfire beamed, "You have journeyed outside your metaphorical bony protective plating and made a friend outside the Teen Titans? I am so proud of you, my friend! Who is this friend of which you speak?"

"Jasmine Onyx!" Jinx said, climbing over Raven to introduce herself, "Pleased to meet ya!"

"Hello, Jasmine! I am Starfire, and I am pleased to meet you, as well!"

"Yeah," Raven laughed nervously, "Starfire, Jasmine. Jasmine, Starfire. Hey, the movie's starting!"

With Starfire's attention diverted, Raven turned to Jinx.

"What was _that!_" she hissed under her breath.

"I'm sitting right next to you! I just made full use of the situation."

Raven crossed her arms and turned her attention to the movie.

Jinx slumped down in her seat. This was a date. Raven shouldn't be ignoring her. She should fake a yawn in order to wrap an arm around her. Or...since the theater was so dark...

She leaned in close to Raven's ear, acting like she was going to whisper something. Instead, she gave it a little nip. Instead of invoking a make out session, Raven gave her a scared look.

"What are you doing?"

"What teenagers have been doing since the invention of theaters."

"Starfire's right next to me!"

"So, she can join in! We can have a big ol' make out party! Lesbians for everyone!"

She was ignoring her again. Well, if she was defeated, might as well make the most of it.

She sighed and rested her head on Raven's shoulder.

"J...Jasmine..."

"I'm just watching the movie."

"You're resting on me."

"This isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. Needs explosions."

Jinx reached over, grabbing one of Raven's breasts.

"Oops!" she said, wearing her trademark grin again, "I was going for the popcorn."

"We don't have popcorn." Raven said, giving her a wary look.

"Star does, though."

"If you want popcorn, I'll go get you some."

Just as she was about to get up, Jinx dragged her back down.

"That's alright! You don't have to!"

"It's no big deal."

Raven slipped out of her grasp and left for the concession stand.

"Damn it, Raven!" Jinx thought as she pouted, "I just want a little attention, a little romance! What do I gotta do for..."

Her eyes turned to Starfire.

"Hmm..."

"Here's your popcorn, 'Jasmine'."

Raven took her seat, once again paying little attention to Jinx. That would change, if she had anything to say about that.

A piece of popcorn slipped from her fingers. As Jinx leaned down to retrieve it, she suddenly noticed something. That something being just how short Starfire's skirt was.

"Oh, where'd that go?" she muttered, blindly groping around as she divided her gaze between Starfire's skirt and Raven's angry glare.

"The five second rule's up." Raven said as she pulled her up.

It had only been for a few seconds, but she got some attention. Not enough, though, as Raven soon found a kernel flying down her shirt.

"Darn butter!" Jinx giggled, "You need any help-"

"I got it." Raven said, reaching down her shirt and popping the kernel in her mouth.

"Dude! You ate boob corn!"

Nothing. Not even a giggle. Just as it seemed this date wasn't going to be as interesting as Jinx hoped, Raven- by accident, apparently- grabbed Jinx's chest.

"Sorry. Going for the popcorn."

Raven had just copped a feel. Raven felt her up, and had given her a dirty little idea that involved popcorn...or possibly chocolate syrup. Not too bad for a first date.

Raven was the kind of girl to get all gitty and excited over anything, but when she heard a knock on her door, she couldn't help but let out a joyful giggle.

She took a deep breath and cracked the door open. On the other side, she was met with a pair of pink eyes and a playful grin.

"We got a few hours, right?"

"Double feature, long movies. Four hours, at least. So...what's under that coat?"

Jinx was wearing a long, black raincoat and matching heels. It didn't take much imagination to guess what she was wearing under it (or rather, what she _wasn't_ wearing).

"Now, hold on, eager beaver! We've got time, right?"

Jinx held up a plain brown bag.

"Let's make the most of it."

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but...what's in that bag?"

"Chocolate syrup, among other things."

Raven cocked an eyebrow.

"Do you mean..."

"We can make sundaes? Sure!"

That's what she liked about Jinx. Anyone else would have said the obvious, but not her sweet Jinx. She was a playful little imp that didn't take anything too seriously, and Raven found that intoxicating.

"I also got this..."

Jinx pulled out a bottle of massage oil.

"Jasmine scented." Raven smiled, "Cute. But if I'm going to give you a massage, you'll-"

"Me?" Jinx asked, sounding a bit confused, "But I'm a guest, Ravy. Shouldn't _I_ being doing _you_- No, that came out wrong."

The dirty glee Raven had been rolling around in since Jinx arrived gave way to that sense of anxitey that had been lurking in the back of her mind.

"I won't be a good hostess if I didn't do you. No, wait..."

"Ravy, you do me all the time. I wanna pay you back for all that doing."

It was true. She had never shown her body. But she couldn't. She loved Jinx, but she still couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Ravy? Something up?"

"No."

"Raven, something's up."

Seriousness was in her tone. Seriousness didn't suit her. She shouldn't worry and fet over her, but...

"Could you turn around?"

"Why?"

"I'm...a little self conscious."

"Ravy," said Jinx, taking Raven into her arms, "You're a beautiful girl. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and aside from getting all touchy-feely, I wanna do this to get you to- say it with me, now- RELAX!"

Sweet, silly little Jinx. This wasn't such a big deal to her, and Raven was going to keep it that way.

"Okay," she said in a defeated tone, "But...I'm going to sound like Beast Boy, here, but...you show me yours and I'll show you mine."

"Sure thing, sister!"

Jinx ripped open her raincoat to reveal, to Raven's surprise...

"Ta-da!"

Clothing. Not much- just black panties and a bra, both lined with pink fur- but she was actually wearing something.

"Mommy likey?"

Raven muttered a shy "yes" under her breath.

"Okay, it's your turn."

"W-Wait."

"You stuttered? Oooh! Do you _really_ like this underwear, don'tcha? Got it just for you."

That little voice that had nagged at Raven only seconds earlier became hushed. It was crystal clear what she wanted to do now.

"Why should I give you a free show? I didn't think you would actually be wearing anything under that."

Reluctant and pouty, Jinx turned around.

She didn't seem that shy about flashing her privates, so maybe she should- as Jinx had told her so many times- relax.

"Alright. You can turn-"

"OH MY GOD!"

Well, so much for not making a big deal out of it.

"You have such a cute butt!" Jinx squealed.

Raven was lying face down on her bed, her cute butt totally unobscured by the cloak that usually hide it.

"Uh...thank you?"

"I knew you'd be cute, Ravy, but...oh my God! This is, like, the first time I've seen, like, a real live naked girl! And you're so cute! Has anyone ever told you you're cute!"

What is really that a big deal? She certainly wasn't unattractive. She might even go as far as to say she did look pretty, but she wasn't worth this freak out session Jinx was giving her.

"No..."

"Well, you are! I almost feel dirty for what I'm about to do!"

Jinx kicked off her shoes and sat on Raven's legs, that cute butt of hers right in front of her.

"Almost."

Raven bit her lip, the sensation of Jinx caressing her bare skin for more stimulating than she thought it would be.

"I've been thinkin'...maybe I should come out with all this."

As Raven tensed, she could almost taste blood.

"We see each other too little, we're always sneakin' around and stuff...and what about...y'know, our missions? One of these days...anyway...I was thinkin' about quitting the mercenary gig. Got plenty of money in all sorts of carefully hidden piggy bags, and I have a history of being a stray cat."

"Jinx..."

"Just disappearing won't surprise anyone. Grades have been slipping, too, so it's not like I'm a valued asset, anymore. Your friends are gonna-"

"Don't."

"What?"

It hurt. There was so much within grasp, but it hurt too much to reach for it.

"You'll get in a lot of trouble."

"I've been in and out of trouble my whole life. Luck's always on my side."

It hurt too much. She couldn't say it.

"You and me, we should just get out of here. Let's just go somewhere...not sunny. Don't know about you, but I need SPF 80. Squeeze the tube, and-"

"A sweater comes out. Yeah."

"Well, thanks for ruining my joke, Smiley Jane."

She didn't say that she ripped that off from Conan O'Brien. She wanted to, but now she had something else on her mind.

"You gonna tell them?"

"Tell them what? That I'm dating one of arch enemies?"

"_Arch_ enemies?" Jinx beamed, "Me and my team made it all the way to _arch!_ No flippin' way! Well...arch? Really?"

"Yes." Raven groaned, "You're moving up in the world. Now, what were you saying?"

"Well, how 'bout you...break it to them slowly? They don't _have_ to know I'm the big, evil bad guy Jinx right way. I like the sound of 'Jasmine Onyx'."

"Somehow, I don't think you'll fool anyone."

"Fooled Starfire. That makes me a master of disguise."

"No, it doesn't. Robin, for one, would figure you out in a heartbeat. It's best just not to tell anyone."

"Why? We've got nothing to be ashamed of."

"Jinx...have you not paid any attention to the history between us? The judges in the court of public opinion are always keeping an eye on me. No one just turns over a new leaf just like that. People will get suspicious."

"Who says I ever turned over a new leaf? I'm the same as I've always been. You're just getting to know me better than- Ooooh! It does appear that I've run out of back!"

Raven slowly gathered more and more blanket into her grasp. She couldn't do this.

"Raven, you okay?"

No, she wasn't okay. She wanted to be okay, she wanted to want this, but...

"You're crying."

She shouldn't be. She couldn't be. She had to keep under control.

Jinx rolled off her, laying at her side.

"If you don't want to do this..."

Raven looked away from her. She couldn't look at her.

"Jinx...there's something I need to tell you."

She couldn't tell her this, could she? She was lying here, naked and vulnerable. What would happen? Could she really control herself, or would her emotions blow them both to Kingdom Come?

"My...see...I have a mother..."

"Don't we all?"

She looked back at Jinx, into those pretty pink eyes that were melting away her defenses with their silly, absurd color.

"My mother...she wasn't much older than me...when...when I was conceived..."

Through her misty eyes, she could see Jinx's concern. She wanted to be alone right then. Just lock herself up in her room and delve deep into meditation. But...

"It wasn't...it wasn't consensual..."

Was that _really_ what she wanted? To lock herself away and be alone? To make it so no one could ever get to her? To make it so what happened to her mother could never happen to her?

"Oh God..."

Raven hadn't used _that_ word- the one that summed up the circumstances of her birth in one ugly little word- but Jinx got the point.

Raven couldn't see anymore. She shut her eyes tight, hoping that everything would just go away and return to it's former state of peace and solitude. That didn't happen, but she did feel herself being cradled in Jinx's arms.

"Raven...I'm so sorry..."

She had never heard Jinx like this. Her voice was so soft and tender. All the pain, all the troubles, they all faded away with that healing voice.

"I haven't been forcing you into anything you don't wanna do, have I?"

Raven sat up and embraced her, squeezing more and more to make sure that she would never go away.

"No." she whispered, Jinx's heartbeat lulling her into a far more peaceful state than she had previously been in, "I was scared, but I'm not anymore. I've wanted to do everything we've done together. I don't regret anything."

"Hey, Ravy?"

"Hmm?"

She was wearing that grin again.

"Would you regret...boob sundaes?" Jinx said, waving a bottle of chocolate syrup.

Raven laughed and pulled her down on top of her.

"Only if you stain the bed."

What drove the dagger in wasn't one major, life changing event. It was nothing that climactic. It had been a whole lot of little pains. Having to hide their love from the world, carrying on this masquerade, pretending to feel what they didn't feel, it broke them in the end. Did they regret anything? Keeping their love a secret? Maybe starting this affair in the first place?

The only thing Jinx regretted was giving up. The reason she plunged the dagger in her chest was the same reason she had pulled it out, and that reason was locked away in the T shaped tower in front of her.

It was funny. Usually, when she left some place, she would just leave it behind completely. And when she did leave a place, it was because of her crazy little whims. She had always been the center of her own universe. And now, here she was, here because for once in her life, she cared about someone more than herself.

"Man, I'm whipped. And not in a kinky way, either. This so sucks. Why'd I have to go and fall for you, Ravy? That image you put on in front of the world...that couldn't just be the real you, could it? If it was, I wouldn't be standing here right now. I could be rolling around in ill gotten goods and not feel all bad and crap about it. But no. You just had to walk that cute little butt of yours into my romantic life. You had to make me care about someone other than myself. Geez...I am so freakin' _whipped!_ I feel like a neutered kitty here, staring up at your stupid tower, hoping you'll look down at poor, pitiful little me...where the hell's the doorbell on this thing?"

"Can I help you?"

As she looked up at the Tower, she hadn't noticed a perplexed Cyborg come up from behind her.

"Sure can, pal!" she said, hoping her charisma would mask the fear, "Name's Jasmine Oynx!"

* * *

author's notes: Well, bugger all. I forgot to mention Poets of the Fall (whose song "Late Goodbye" I've been quoting from in this chapter) have a website: Visit it, lest your seed be cursed for all eternity!

Fun fact time! Like in _Cotton Candy Pink: Pen Pals_, there are little references to Wolfkcing's _Pitch and Pink_. Without _Pitch and Pink_, I probably would have utterly failed at capturing Jinx's character.

Here's another thing of note: Notice how not only do "Jinx" and "Jasmine Onyx" share the same letters, but they're even in the same order? I totally, completely made up "Jasmine Onyx" without a bit of thought, and I somehow hid Jinx's name in there _perfectly_. How freaked up am I!

So, how's Raven gonna react to "Jasmine" coming into her life? And remember that I said she fell in love twice? There's Malchior, of course, but what about that second person? Could it be that a certain tragic young blonde meant a lot more to Raven than anyone knew? Oh, I wonder what this could mean...


	3. Forbidden Pleasures

(important note: Read update note at end, especially if you're going to review.)

Chapter 3: Forbidden Pleasures

She was all alone in her gentle silence. But there was unease, unrest. She couldn't help but squirm, trying to find a more comfortable spot that simply did not exist. But then she felt _her._

Tears came to her eyes. No one deserved this sort of luck. But she was there, in her arms, smelling of freshly fallen rain. There was that light taste of peppermint on her lips again. From sucking on candy, no doubt. Fate only knew how she had clung on to that sense of crazy innocence for so long. It didn't belong at all, like mixing blue and pink together. She did it, anyway, and it was simply beautiful.

Why did things turn out the way they had? She was so ill prepared for her, so out of her depth on this matter. Things weren't supposed to be like this. They didn't belong together. This was off limits territory she found herself in. She found herself basking in the forbidden pleasures that the girl had to offer, and she was throughly enjoying it. It was the most perfect moment, the smallest fraction of time that she wished she could stretch out into all eternity. In this fraction of time, she was happy.

Slowly, the dream faded away. With blurred sight, she saw her room. Her room, with herself being the only person in it. She lifted herself from her peaceful rest and went about the usual motions as she prepared for the day.

It was all just a dream, she reminded herself. Just a dream.

* * *

"Jasmine" sat there in the living room, grinning like a Cheshire cat at four pairs of eyes gave her a good looking over.

And then there was a fifth.

"What is she doing here!"

Raven was surprised. She really was, just not for the obvious reason.

"RAVY!" Jinx screamed, bounding off the couch and somehow managing to gain enough distance to tackle Raven in a hug, "I'm so sorry! BFF, Ravy! BFF!"

"Could you explain this one more time?" said Robin.

"Sure thing, chief! Me and Raven got in a big fight a couple weeks ago, but I feel horrible about it, so I came here to apologize to her!"

All the meanwhile, Jinx clutched Raven's head against her chest. She had said it once before: Jinx was a sick little girl.

"Is this true, Raven?"

Was it true? Did they not see who this was? Did they not notice this was Jinx, the evil criminal who gave them and the city so much grief? How could they not see the truth? _This_ truth, at least?

"I recognize you!"

Finally, someone came to their senses. Starfire would reveal who this girl really was.

"You are from the theater of movies!"

Or she could totally screw Raven into a corner.

"I saw you with Raven at the film 'Roses in the Autumn'!"

"Hey, I've seen you, too!" said Beast Boy, "You're that creepy chick who's always playing that Happy Fun...Dance Fun...Fun Happy Party...that dancing game at the arcade! Dude, you totally freaked Cyborg out when I dared him to touch you, and you just stared at him for, like, five minutes!"

How could they not realize who this was? So what if her hair as down and she wasn't wearing her usual outfit? It baffled her mind how they couldn't see past these minor changes and see who this really was.

Then again, their leader wore a small black strip to hide his identity.

And for a moment, that question popped into Raven's head. Who was this, really?

"Uh, yeah." Jinx played along, "That's what happens when you disturb me when I'm in the zone. You guys should see Raven when she gets into it."

And deeper still did Raven sink into this quagmire. As an added twist of cruelty, she knew that Jinx added an extra little grin when she said "gets into it".

"You play Happy Fun Fun Dance Party Revolution Remix, too!" exclaimed Starfire, now positively beaming.

"Once in a while." Raven muttered.

Really, she never did as much as look at the game. During her rare trips to the mall, bubblegum pop would float out of the arcade on pillowy pink clouds and cheerfully flutter into her ears, reminding her why her trips here were so rare. But now that she thought about it, she did play it one time. It was that time when her and Jinx had the tower to themselves. Jinx muted the TV, put on some Theory of a Dead Man, and they had what she called a "happy naked fun dance party revolution". The game had ended in laughter, tangled limbs, and terrible scores.

"Please, Raven! We must play together some time!"

A parade of dirty thoughts forced themselves upon Raven's poor psyche. She had to get out of here. She had to get a moment's peace to control these urges welling up inside her.

She squirmed out of Jinx's grasp and darted down the hallway, leaving behind the mess that was brewing in the living room. On her way to her room, her sanctuary from the madness she had suddenly been thrust into, she stopped in front of the bathroom.

She never understood the expression "butterflies in your stomache". Butterflies were danty little nector suckers. What she had were lunatic moths, holding a wild rave in her twisted up insides. She mentally screamed, trying to get those damned moths to calm down, but they just wouldn't listen. One moth even had the audacity to fly up to her ear and whisper a dirty little truth.

She could touch herself. Down there. Down in her naughty little area. Just give the hard partying psycho moths what they want, and they would leave peacefully.

Then the moth asked if Starfire did that. It asked if Tamaranian girls did that sort of thing, if they did it to other girls, if they did more than that.

Raven ducked into the bathroom, knocking that stupid moth from it's perch. She took a deep breath, and the moths finally quieted down. She looked into the mirror and she saw that dirty little moth staring right back.

She saw herself.

* * *

Just as her clenched hand was about to touch the door, she stopped.

"It's just shock, right? On the inside, she's pleased as punch to see me- 'Pleased as punch'? Who says that anymore? No more TV Land for me. Oh, quit stalling! Just knock, already! Your heart's desire is right on the other side, so quit being a wuss and just-"

"'Jasmine'."

Raven, hood up, was staring at her through her cracked open door.

"Raven..."

Now what? She suddenly realized she didn't plan this through very well. Or at all, really.

Lacking anything to say, she offered Raven a big, mildly unsettling smile.

"If you don't have anything to say, leave me alone."

She just stared at her. It was such a cold, blank look. Each frosty eye took one end of Jinx's heart, ready to rip it in two as soon as the boss gave the word.

"Well?" she thought, "Say something! She's right there! Tell her something! She's gonna close the door if I just stand here, staring at her like some goober if-"

_Rip._

The door to the sanctuary of her heart's desire closed in front of her, cruelly denying her access.

"I suck." Jinx said as she slumped down against the wall.

"Friend, you do not create suction."

She pulled her head up to see sweet Starfire looking down on her, an alien angel peering down into the dark pit of despair Jinx just fell into.

"Yeah, I do. I said the stupid thing _ever_, and I lost my best friend because of it. She hates me."

It hurt so bad. That wasn't the worst of it, though. She felt so helpless now. What she had come here for, what she had abandoned her former life for, it was denied to her and there wasn't a single damned thing she could do about it.

She felt a gentle hand wipe away the tear she didn't realize was there. Oddly enough, it just made her want to cry more.

"Do not be sad. Surely, Raven does not hate you. She is...complicated. Very, very complicated."

Jinx collapsed into Starfire's arms. She needed something comforting, soft, familiar. She was so hopelessly lost in what had been enemy territory, though, and with her Raven locked away, her only hope was this alien girl whom she just threw herself at.

She let out a small gasp. Starfire was holding her. She wasn't pushing her away, making sure no one saw what she just did. She was stroking her hair, whispering that everything would be okay. She was holding her, despite how that may look to anyone else that was around.

"Come." Starfire said as she stood her up, "Let us discuss this while we gorge ourselves on frozen cow lactations."

Jinx hiccupped a little giggle.

"Kinda sounds gross when you put it like that, but sure. Let's go crazy on cow lactation."

It was funny, wasn't it? It wasn't twentyfour hours ago that they would have been enemies. She hadn't ever given it much thought as to what her enemies were like when she wasn't fighting them. She used to write off Starfire as a sugary sweet goody-two-shoes, but...perhaps that wasn't entirely untrue, but she was a genuinely nice person whose presense Jinx could really enjoy.

Especially when there were things in high places.

Jinx caught herself staring at something she probably shouldn't have. As Starfire was reaching up for bowls...

"Well, hey, look at the size of that skirt. It's kinda hard _not_ to look. I wonder if Ravy ever...isn't this the kind of thinking that made us break up? Stupid hot and sexy...hormones. Hormones! Not...is it okay to look? Raven obviously hates my guts. Maybe it is okay. Sort of."

Starfire was staring at with those big green eyes, smiling pleasantly as if ice cream was a miracle cure for the heartache she felt. It was silly. What did ice cream matter at a time like this? What did anything matter?

But it was hard not to cheer up a little. Starfire apparently carried some sort of alien happy virus, because Jinx couldn't help but smile a bit looking at her. She seemed so happy. There wasn't anything to be happy about, but she was still smiling. Come to think of it, hadn't Jinx been like that not too long ago? She always just used to smile if for no real reason other than to smile. That crazy smile died when she broke up with Raven, but looking at Starfire, she could feel it rising from it's grave.

"Please, tell me how you met Raven."

It clawed it's way out of soft earth, an imaginary hand bursting out of the equally imaginary soil. As her mind danced in all the whimsical lies she could tell right now, it pulled itself out of the ground and dusted itself off as if nothing ever happened.

"Oh..."

Her smile lived again.

"It was such a dark and stormy night!"

On the outside, she looked dramatically distraut, as if she were reliving such a night. Inside, of course, she was giggling uncontrollably. Ever since she was little, she loved putting on these melodramatic, attention grabbing exaggerations of truth (or just bold faced lies, in some cases).

"Cold, hard rain pounded on me as I travelled back to my humble home. And such a bitterly cold wind blew! I was drenched, and numb, and I only wanted it to end! That's when I came to..._the bridge_."

There was a bridge in the city, wasn't there? Well, fancy that. Her fibbing actually fitted in conviently with reality.

"My life...it was so sad, so empty. Just as cold and black as the waters below and the night sky above."

Good line. She had to remember that one.

"I had no friends, no family. I was just some girl that was always there, hoping to be noticed. I never was, though. Surely, no one would miss me if I were to simply disappear into the darkness."

Starfire was totally enraptured, her spoon dangling out of her mouth as she lost interest in her ice cream. Jinx could see her trembling with anticipation, as if the outcome wasn't obvious.

"As I looked into the inviting darkness of the waters, I heard..._her_."

"Her?"

"Yes..._her_. She wrapped an arm around me, commenting that was such a stormy night. She said I should get home before I caught my death. That was the only time I could remember anyone being kind to me. I was always a fan of hers, but I never thought she would ever talk to me. I even thought she might hate me, but she didn't. She loved me back."

Jinx caught herself using the "L" word.

"And we've been best friends ever since!" she quickly added, "Well, until...you know, that fight."

She cringed a little when she saw those big tears in Starfire's eyes. Was she actually feeling guilty?

She was so _whipped_.

"It is so sad!" said Starfire with much quivering in her voice, "I, too, love Raven, but she was always so cold and distant!"

Guilt was quickly pushed aside by old fantasies. Jinx knew _that_ wasn't the context she meant, but a girl could still dream. Dream impish little dreams.

So easily that dream faded, though. Each and every one of her little Raven/Starfire scenerios had Raven in it, giving her a swift kick back into reality.

"What is with her?" she grumbled, "I mean, I know how her powers work and everything, but..._argh!_ That's still no excuse to be a total frosty bitch! She...she could relax once in a while, right? Maybe let go of being a crank for a few minutes?"

She had so often found herself at home in chaos. Everything made so much sense to her and she could dance through it all with ease. In this mess, though, she came to a harsh realization: She was pathetically helpless. This was one of those things that reminded her why she took on the role of thief and mercenary. If you're desperate enough, you should just take what you want. Helpless people only had themselves to blame. They played by the rules, so they deserved every lose they got.

So why was she helpless? It was just a fact. What she wanted just didn't exist.

But what she needed? That was looking across the table at her with sad green eyes.

* * *

Though she wouldn't admit it to even herself, this is how she socialized. Sitting out in the living room, quietly reading her books in plain view of everyone.

"Dude! Hold up! I can't...GAH!"

"Sorry, Beebs! Survival of the fittest!"

She glanced over to them for a second. To _her_.

"Dude! I...ah, Terra! C'mon! Just...lemme...geez."

What Raven assumed was victory music played, followed by Terra's triumphant laughter.

"Ha ha! The queen retains her title! Who's next? How 'bout you, Raven?"

She just looked over at her for a moment, then turned her attention back to her book.

"Translation?"

"That's Raven for...sure, I'll play!"

Terra had just popped up one day and re-entered their lives as if nothing happened. That wasn't right. People couldn't just do that. They couldn't just disappear and re-appear as they pleased. It was total nonsense.

"Really, Raven? Well, if you insist. You done reading?"

That's _exactly_ what she did, though. Crazy little weirdo.

"You haven't turned that page in a while."

Whether she wanted it or not, she had now received Raven's full attention.

"I wasn't staring or anything. I just...didn't notice you turn any pages."

Truth be told...

"Beast Boy!" Cyborg's voice boomed from the hallway.

"Here, Raven!" Beast Boy said as he tossed Raven his controller and scanned the immediate area for a place to hide.

"What did you do?" Raven asked, casually brushing the controller off her lap.

"I...just used the Titan mainframe to download one or two little freeware games...but-"

"Pop-ups again?"

"It's like the chimera! Cut off one head, and two more-"

"Hydra. You're thinking of the hydra. And you only have yourself to blame. You should just be mature about it and take responsiblity for your dumb mistake."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

Beast Boy turned into a mouse and scampered between Cyborg's legs just as he entered the room.

Just her and Terra now.

"So, you gonna play?"

Black light engulfed the other controller and dropped it down next to her.

"Eh. I was getting bored, anyway."

She turned off the TV and directed a lazy gaze in Raven's direction.

"So, whatcha wanna do?"

"Nothing."

"Cool. How do we do that?"

Who was she to chastize Beast Boy for not learning from past mistakes? He would always try to bait her into that trap. Little wonder that Terra did the same.

"Are you _still_ all uppity about how I'm controlling my powers? The reason I don't have to lock myself up in my room all day is because- sit down for this this-"

"I am sitting, as you can plainly see."

"Oh, yeah. Anyway, it's because I don't lock myself up in my room all day, and I learned not to totally freak out over controlling my powers!"

"I don't freak out."

"Not what I...uh..."

As their eyes met, and not on friendly terms, Terra shyed away.

"Sorry. I didn't mean...but don't you wish you could be more normal? No! I didn't mean it like that! I mean, don't you wish you didn't have to worry about controlling your powers?"

It was a rare lapse in judgement, the slightest hole in her defenses.

"Yes."

"Oh."

It was there, though, and Terra saw it.

"H-Hey...if you ever wanna talk or anything..."

"I won't."

"Won't"? Didn't she mean "don't"? To deny any problem rather than to deny any help?

Whatever. Terra was the one that was supposed to be under a microscope, not her. Maybe it was because of her low opinion of people in general, but she really doubted Terra ever just got over her baseless accussations of betrayl. Something was up with her, and until she found what that something was, there had to be a nice, healthy distance between them.

And it was time for just that. She pulled up her hood and-

"Wait! What am I doing wrong!"

She had just about made it to the hallway when she said that.

"Why do you hate me!"

She couldn't turn around. She would just see her tearful eyes, her pouting lips. She just needed to push her away and head back to her room.

"Please! Just tell me! Please!"

She couldn't turn around. She just couldn't.

But she couldn't move on, either. She was just standing there, listening to Terra's ragged breaths degenerate into a hushed sob.

Finally, she walked away.

She just walked away.

Looking back at it now, with that picture of Terra she kept tucked away in dark corners now firmly grasped in her fingers, she thought about how things could have been different. Would it be any different if she turned around and told her she didn't hate her? That she envied her, admired her? What would happen if she wiped away the tears and held her? Told her she wasn't doing anything wrong?

It was pointless. She didn't, that's what happened. There was no changing that. If she did, maybe she would just be asking a different set of questions, or maybe things would have played out exactly the same. Either way, Terra would just crush her heart.

She replayed that paticular night one last time. Terra had been wrong, not her. She wasn't doing anything wrong. After all, she wasn't the one who turned traitor.

But-

Raven stopped herself at that word. It was best never to think about what would follow. Terra betrayed them, then did the right thing in the end. Simple as black and white.

* * *

"Bum drawf?"

To Jinx, the thing Starfire was holding just looked like a big, freaky maggot.

"No!" Starfire laughed, "Bumglorth! Silkie is my bumglorth! Give him a hug!"

One more step back and Jinx hit a wall. She couldn't take her eyes off the..._thing_. It's pulpy, pulsating body, threatening to rupture and spill all manner of fluids on her. It's drooling, gaping maw, excellent for sucking faces off the unwary. All those squirming little legs...

"It...isn't gonna puke acid on me, is it?"

Oh, sure, Starfire thought it was funny, but she was probably immune to whatever diseases the bulbous grub carried in it's swollen body.

Reluctantly, Jinx took Silkie, trying to block out all the gurgling noises he was making.

"So..." she said, trying to take her mind of the beady-eyed grub in her arms, "Your room sure is...pretty."

"Thank you. Oh! And I am reminded that we must prepare a room for you!"

"Oh, I don't wanna impose..."

That was a lie. She _really_ wanted to impose, especially seeing as how she had nowhere else to go.

"Do not let it trouble your mind, friend! Come!"

Ever grateful to put down Starfire's pet mutant caterpillar, Jinx wasted no time in following her.

As she passed Raven's room, a thought just accorded to her. She had a place to stay here, in the very home of her bittersweet Raven. And if there was a just and merciful God in Heaven...

"This shall be your room."

And there was, it seemed. Just pass that cold metal door labeled "Raven" was the room Starfire stopped at. The inside was painted a dull cement gray, but it still filled the ex-super criminal's michevious heart with whimsy.

"Please forgive the barrenness of the room. It has been a long time since we put this room to use."

"It's perfect!" Jinx cooed, "Oh...there is _so_ much I can do with this! You guys got any paint?"

As Starfire went to retrieve paint, Jinx stared at the wall. _She_ was just on the other side, wasn't she?

"RAVY!" she screamed, "YOU HEAR ME!"

Nothing.

"ME AND STAR ARE GONNA PAINT MY ROOM! WANNA JOIN IN!"

Still nothing.

"C'MON! DON'T BE THAT WAY!"

"Jasmine?"

While she had been trying to get Raven's sweet, precious attention, Starfire had returned with the paint.

"Why are you yelling at the wall?"

"Raven's just on the other side, right? Just thought I'd invite her over."

"By screaming through the wall?"

"Yeah, sure."

Jinx knew exactly what she wanted. She would just blast open the cans, splattering the whole place like a hard partying rainbow just threw up in the joint.

But that was what _Jinx_ would do. _Jasmine_, as far as anyone knew, didn't have any super powers.

"Which latex based pigment would you like?" said Starfire, "Might I suggest lavander?"

Jinx pondered her dilemna for a moment before realizing the solution was eagering awaiting her response.

"Hey, Star...could you maybe...blow up the paint cans!"

Starfire reeled back a little at Jinx's deranged smile.

"I'll throw up a can up, and you hit it with a starbolt. It'll be awesome!"

"Um..."

"Great!" Jinx said before Starfire could protest, "Let's start with..."

Jinx saw she had grabbed a can of navy blue.

"Red."

Jinx giggled to herself, eagerly awaiting the inevitable explosion that would follow as she toss the paint can into the air. Maybe she should have took the lid off, though, because the result boom brought Robin running down the hall.

"Hiya, Chief!" said Jinx, totally, literally red faced, "We're painting the guest room! Got any more goat's blood?"

Robin backed off without a word.

* * *

Raven gave a grief stricken sigh as she closed her book and got up. That series of booms coming from down the hall were Jinx's doing, no doubt.

Just as she reached a small portion of paint-splattered wall, she groaned. They had given her a room, hadn't they? And it was the one facing the setting sun, the one that was smack dab next to her own room.

The one that used to be Terra's.

"What disaster struck this place?" she droned when she entered.

"We are giving color to Jasmine's new room by detonating containers of paint!" Starfire said cheerfully.

"RAVY!"

Before she could react, Jinx gave her a hug with paint splattered arms.

"You missed out on most of the fun. Saved you a can of your favorite color, though."

Jinx dangled a can of blue in front of Raven's face.

"Dare I ask why she has a room here?"

"I'm homeless!" Jinx said with an unusual amount of enthuseasm, "Like I told your friends, my butt got kicked out of my boarding house yesterday. Couldn't make rent, and they just couldn't deal with my bad self!"

"Mm hmm. And Robin was okay with this?"

"Sure. Totally okay with him."

"It is true." added Starfire, "She is your friend, so she is our friend, as well."

Her friend? After how she stabbed her in the back? Jinx was their enemy. She would point it out if only...

If only what? If it wouldn't reveal the affair they had carried on? Or was it because she didn't want to be her enemy? Was it because there a gaping hole in her heart, and she was just the right size to patch it up?

She pulled up her hood and walked away just as Jinx screamed "Pull!", an explosion of blue paint misting her back.

"Little weirdo got paint all over me." Raven grumbled as she headed back to the sanctity of her room.

What a mess this was. How could Robin do this? Maybe it was just as well, lest things get too complicated to avoid telling the truth. And the truth? That was something Raven wasn't too keen on looking too deeply into. She needed to focus on one thing at a time, like changing into a new outfit.

She threw off her stained uniform and reached for a fresh one. Her hand stopped short, though. She was in the safety of her own room. What was the rush?

She drifted down onto her bed. Stupid silly, crazy Jinx. Everything had been so simple until she ruined it all. Everything used to make sense. It use to be so simple, so clear cut. Now there were feelings that shouldn't be there, craving that couldn't be there. If only...

There was no use fretting over it. She should just relax while she could, before Jinx blew open the wall in her redecorating frenzy.

Love was overrated. Everyone always preached about how wonderful it was, but really, it just hurt. It made her miserable. She wanted to hate Jinx because of it. She wanted to stomp right in there, grab her, and toss her right out the window. She couldn't, though. She couldn't help but feel helpless. As much as she struggled, this was out of her hands.

She hated love so much right now. It made her loose her edge, it made her loose her focus, it made her forget everything that had been drilled into her mind since birth. And now- laying on her bed in her underwear- it made her think dirty, wrong things.

She wondered what Jinx and Starfire must be doing in there.

What naughty little things they must be doing.

Jinx yanked off of her paint freckled shirt, and...ah, she didn't like wearing bras, did she? Starfire dabbed her fingers on a wet patch on the wall and traced her fingers along Jinx's back, forming little wings of blue on creamy white skin. Blue lines traced along her stomach, crisscrossing as they made their way up to her chest. Jinx's own hands- stained in pink- held Starfire's there. Soft kisses caressed her neck, leading to a playful nip of her ear. She broken away, to Starfire's dismay, and teasingly covered herself. If Starfire wanted her, she would just have to come get her.

And of course, she came for her. She pressed her against the wall, hungry lips parting only long enough for Starfire to remove her top. Jinx's hands formed wings on Starfire's back, pink as her eyes. They cascaded down her back, underneath her dress...

What was she thinking? She was above this. Save that nonsense for the hormone crazed boys of the world. She didn't think those kinds of thoughts. She was mature, dignified, sophisticated. Lust wouldn't make a fool of her.

But it wasn't _lust_ she was trying to suppress, was it? It ran so much deeper than that, and it was bound and determined to make her loose that precious maturity she took so much pride in.

What she tried to supress...it wouldn't get the better of her...

* * *

When was the last time she had taken such a long shower? Not once did anyone bang on the door, or just force it open without bothering to knock. She even made it to her room without anyone trying to yank off her robe. Jinx's old teammates could learn a thing or two from these guys.

That beautifully long shower reminded her she was once again starting life anew. Her life was a blank canvas again.

And now it was time to get back to work on her next piece.

She felt a shiver go up her spine when she saw Raven's eyes. How long had it been since she looked into her eyes? Minutes? Hours? Too long. Far too long.

"Seriously, thank you for your constant interruptions. I thank you from the bottom of the cold, black mass of organic matter I call a heart."

"Ah, no thanks necessary! C'mon! Come see what me and Starfire did with my room."

"No."

So flat, so cold. But that was how Raven was. Underneath that smooth, cool surface...

"Will you...please go away now?"

Was several more feet of ice, encasing a frozen heart.

Complicated, her ass.

She had said it so easily. She had pulled out a cold dagger, and with one quick stroke, she cut the canvas in half and shut the door, leaving Jinx quietly reeling.

That coldness that Raven always carried with her spread through Jinx's body. As she slumped against the wall- the one between her and Raven- she let herself accept the awful truth.

This was _all_ her fault.

"I'm here, aren't I? Doesn't that tell you something? Don't you get it!"

She spun around and kicked the wall, shaking off the numbing cold that had been enveloping her.

"ANSWER ME!" she screamed, "C'mon! Yell, scream, cuss me out! I'm right here! Just get it over with already!"

All that she heard was cold, dead, uncaring silence.

She slumped back against the wall, her fiery passion once again being snuffed out. The air was stifling in here. Everything was squeezing in on her. Suddenly, she missed her former life. The lack of privacy, the seemly characteristic stupidity of young males, _the sound of someone else's voice._ The silence was so cold, so cruel. It refused to listen to a single word she had to say.

Well, then, she would just have to get the silence's attention, wouldn't she?

"Wha...Starfire?" she spoked up, "What are you do- Oooh! Starfire! Don't!"

She was grinning so wide, it hurt. She could just image Raven picking up on that, sticking her ear to the wall in hopes of hearing more juicy little bits of naughtiness.

"Star...that tickles!"

Oh, what was her little Raven doing now? Gasping in disbelieve, perhaps? Giggling with mischevious glee? How much was she straining to hear her little act?

"Mm...Star, I never knew...what are you..."

She bit her lip, trying desperately not to burst into laughter at the next dirty thing that popped inside her twisted mind. She almost couldn't say it, lest her laughter escape.

"Oh! Oh, Starfire! Oh yeah...eat me..."

That was bound to bring Raven coming. She always squirmed so bad when she even _implied_ dirty talk. She was so cute when she did that. She could be aggressive when she wanted to be, but one dirty little word and she would act like she was caught with her hand in a cookie jar. Any second now, Raven would come running into her room, and boy, was she going to be in for a surprise. She would rush through the door, afraid her love was being taken away. She would be whimpering, trying so hard to push down the tears. She wouldn't dare let know Jinx she was scared of loosing her again. But she would be there, though. She would wipe away the tears, kiss her cheek, and all would be as it should.

But the seconds kept passing.

"Ravy!" she whined, "You're missing out! Am I gonna have fun all by myself! Star could use some help! She'd say it herself, but her mouth's full!"

Oh, how fun it was being the bad girl! All the best things in life were those bad, naughty, totally taboo things that no one wanted you to have.

More seconds passed, and Raven didn't come bursting through the door, trying to push down her tears and look tough in front of her.

She didn't do anything.

"Fine!" Jinx said with a huff, "Be that way! I don't need you!"

She slumped back down again. Well, fine. Her loss, wasn't it? And just for not playing along, Starfire was going to take her place in her little fantasy.

Starfire...what wonderful planet of amazons bred that gorgous creature? Those long legs ending in that cute butt, that top so tightly hugging her chest...

She was a tall girl, wasn't she? Jinx could hop up and cling to her like a dirty little sloth. She would crane her neck to plant her kisses, but Starfire would only allow quick pecks, giggling and drawing back. They would take their tops off and as Jinx clung to her, they could feel each other's heart beats. They would make a game out of trying to kiss each other in time to each others heart beats, but ultimately, they would give up on that and Starfire would let her nurse on those sweet lips like a hungry babe. One long, fulfilling, intoxicating kiss...

No. It wasn't the same. That should be Raven. Raven's lips, Raven's taste, Raven's heart. Those weren't hers anymore. But that's what she wanted. Her sweet Raven.

Her only Raven.

"Ow!"

As she leaned back, she banged her head on the wall. As she rubbed her head, a dark little thought popped into her head.

She banged her head against the wall again. Hard.

Would Raven care now? How long would it take?

She banged her head again.

Would she come to tell her to be quiet? Could she even hear her? They probably had decent soundproofing here.

And again.

Would she be unconscious by the time Raven came?

Again.

Would she ever wake up again?

_Again._

That would show her, wouldn't it? Maybe then she would care. She would cry and cry, and regret ever ignoring her. It would serve her right, wouldn't it?

"QUIT THAT!"

Jinx hung her head as she realized where that voice came from.

"I'M TRYING TO READ! QUIET DOWN! I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING!"

"EVERYTHING!"

"YES! _EVERYTHING!_ IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, TELL ME LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND QUIT SCREAMING THROUGH THE WALL!"

Jinx smiled to herself.

* * *

Terra was raising a ruckus again, singing along to some song. Raven really needed to get that wall soundproofed better, but for the time being, she was content with listening in on her. She wasn't that bad a singer, really.

So, what purpose was this serving? She had a reason for listening, right? Of course. The runaway returned out of the blue, just like that. She was still reckless, still moody, still a disaster waiting to happen.

Who was she kidding? She wasn't that much different, was she? No matter how calm she made herself, no matter how deep in meditation she got, it was all just lurking under the surface. She was a walking time bomb herself.

What was Terra doing in there? It wasn't fair. She was having her own one woman party while Raven was trying- and failing- to meditate.

It wasn't fair? Life wasn't fair. That was something Raven came to terms with a long time ago. Why was it bugging her now? She didn't want any part of Terra's life. That wasn't her. She didn't want...

What did she want? When she thought about that, a strange little thought creeped into her mind. Maybe, just maybe...

When Terra opened the door, she would just smile at her. That certain took her off guard. With that, she would grab her and-

No, maybe not. Let Terra be the one to take charge. Let responsiblity be lifted from her shoulders for once.

It would be Terra that came to her door, that wild, predatory grin on her face. She would pin her aginst the wall, but she wouldn't offer any resistance. Curiousity had gotten the better of her. She wanted to know where this would lead.

Her face grew closer, that wild grin still on her lips. And then, a kiss. A quick little taste of things to come. Raven leaned forward, unsatisfied with that little nibble, but Terra pull back just out of reach. She cradled her, drawing their bodies together at her own pace. That was fine by Raven. At her touch, her body was as air. She was helpless in this girl's arms, but it was alright. In her arms, she was free.

Her kisses were a sweet wine that she took in slowly, taking the time to admire the unique flavor. Electricity followed her roaming hands, everywhere they touched leaving her tingling. And then...

She reached downwards.

Raven shuddered, holding her breath to keep from screaming out. But her lip quivered. A light moan escaped, along with her name.

The music went silent. For a moment, Raven honestly thought Terra might have picked up on her dirty little thoughts. On the other side, Raven could hear footsteps, the door opening and closing. Terra had just stepped out for no reason of any importance. She and her naughty thoughts remained safe. It was a bit of a rush, though, wasn't it? It was as if she actually _wanted_ Terra to know.

There was a knock on her door. Good lord, there was a knock on her door. And of course, there could only be one person on the other side.

"Terra?"

"Hi." she said shyly, "I just wanted to say sorry for...y'know, last night..."

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry. After what I said the last time- when I ran away- I really wanna make things up to you guys. I got really scared, and I thought Beast Boy told on me, and-"

"Terra?"

"I-I thought you would hate me because I couldn't control my powers, and-"

"Terra!"

The poor girl was still an emotional wreck, still just as fragile as that night she ran away. How long had she been on her own? How long did she have to struggle with her powers by herself?

"Raven?"

Her hand was on Terra's shoulder. She just realized that. Just standing there, with her hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay. Really. I forgive you."

That wasn't how she really wanted it to play out. She wanted to take her in, tell her that she knew how she felt. She wanted to say had been vulnerable and insecure once, too. She wanted to sit down with her, hold her. She wanted to be her friend.

She wanted...

"Thanks, Raven."

She smiled. And then, to Raven's discomfort, she hugged her.

"It really means a lot."

Why did she have to hug her? She was too warm. She was going to burn up if she didn't let go. But deep down, the warmth, as strange as it felt, was nice. It was a comfort she denied herself for her own good. Comfort dulled the senses, lowered one's guard. It would only make her vulnerable.

There was a knock at the door.

"You just can't leave me in peace, can you?"

"Nope."

That damned girl was grinning again. Always with that half cocky, half deranged smile.

"You can't just abandon me and expect that I'd be happy to see you."

She tried to close the door, but Jinx stuck her foot in the way.

"I meant it when I said I was sorry. And I mean it when I say I love you."

Did she have to use that word? Out in the hallway?

"What do you want?" Raven hissed, "You want me to sleep with you?"

"I just want the truth. If you hate me, just come out and say it. Kick me out, if you want. But if not..."

She couldn't say it. She had to retreat.

"Raven! Don't-"

She kicked Jinx's foot out of the way and firmly closed the door.

* * *

_"You're gonna leeeaaave...her. You have deeeceeiiived...her."_

Jinx turned her MP3 player off.

"Ah, whadaya know, Martina? She's more than just a girl."

Oh, whatever. What did she care about love? Not a whole lot had changed since the days of that pink haired, paled skinned little pariah who barely spoke a word of English. Still craved attention, respect, recongnition...

Love...

What did she care about this? She never should have lost sight of what was really important: Being better than everyone else. Rising up above everyone so high, that no one could hurt her. She would be the greatest, the best, the girl everyone admired and envied. No one would make fun of her, no need to force a cocky grin. It would all...

Be like it was with Raven.

Jinx took one more breath of vanilla scented air, then uncrossed her legs and went about extingishing her Hello Kitty candles.

Okay, since when had she ever cared about anyone else's opinion? She was Jinx, or "Jasmine Onyx", given the present circumstances. Either way, her soul was free. She never let anyone keep her down. Who she presented herself as was the real her. She didn't cry. She didn't cry and whimper and sit in the corner like a good little girl. She'd never cry, and she'd never stop smiling. No one would ever bring her down.

Except Raven.

She clenched her fist. No one should be making her feel this bad. That wasn't her. She didn't feel bad. She never felt bad about all the bad things she had done. She shouldn't. Luck was never on her side, so...

So...

So why did she feel bad?

She did have a conscience. Maybe she didn't listen to it much, but it was still there. It nagged at her, telling her a nasty little truth.

She wasn't good enough for Raven.

And then she stopped smiling.

And then she cried.

It was the little pains, again. Every small pain she thought she could shrug off, every bigger one she thought she could overcome...it all got to her. Every failure and every flaw.

For a moment, she didn't want to live anymore. It wasn't to get attention or to make someone feel bad. It was utter hopelessness. Uselessness. Her life didn't hold any value, not even to herself.

After a few quiet seconds, the feeling went away. She could feel a bit of her old self returning, unburdened by little pains. It was just a bit, though. Just enough to reminder her she wanted to live, no matter what. She was still wounded.

"Hey..."

She needed to be held so badly.

"I...I'm sorry to bother you, but..."

She needed _her_.

"I-I'm not feeling well...and..."

Who else could she turn to?

"Jasmine?"

She collapsed into the comfort of Starfire's arms.

* * *

Toss. Turn. Russle. Squirm. Shift.

Where...was it?

Deeper...deeper into the covers...

Wrapped in a blanket cocoon...

Only a bitter moth would tear out in the morning.

Where...

There. Right there. Floating. Held. Warm. The gentle scent of spring rain-

Floating?

"GAWH!"

Raven crashed back down onto her bed.

"Sleep floating?" she groaned, "What am I, five?"

It was an old habit from her childhood. One she had outgrown.

She cast a weary eye over to the clock, then at the window.

"Meh." she muttered, "I suppose sleep is overrated, anyway."

As autumn colors bled into the morning sky, Raven dragged her weary self out of bed and into the shower.

"Sleep floating. Azar above, when was the last time I did that? And why...oh. Yeah. Jinx. Wonder of wonders, she's throwing me off center. Of course. This is why..."

Just as she reached for the shampoo, she paused.

"You were the one to call it off. But...you came back. Why? What's the point? I...I can't be who you want me to be. I never had that chance, and it's not as if I can change now. Things are the way they are, and you're not making them any less difficult."

Her groan echoed about the bathroom, bouncing off the tiles and back into her ears.

"Alright. Maybe I'm just looking for excuses. But things were in their proper place before. I shouldn't be bothering myself with childish fixations and vulgar urges. I should try to make myself as pure as anyone like me can."

She leaded her head back, a deep breath as water hit her chest and cascaded downwards.

"And why is that? Am I really better off like this? Trying to keep anyone from ever touching me? It's selfish, I know, but...maybe I do want someone to touch me. To hold me. To make me feel like I'm destine for something other than suffering. Is it so much to ask for that small comfort? For such a simple, sweet illusion?"

Perhaps she shouldn't speak so lightly of it. It didn't feel light. It felt like the weight of the world was hanging around her heart.

"Why haven't I grown out of this? My whole life, I conditioned myself against this. Emotional attachment leads to nothing good. Jealous, paranoia, obsession, possessiveness...and in the end, it all just hurts you. I will not...ever..."

The weight grew heavier.

"Love you..."

And heavier.

"Jinx."

And then...

She turned the faucets. She dried herself off and fixed her hair. She got dressed and left the bathroom.

Dragging her disobedient little heart behind her.

* * *

author's notes: Okay, you're sick of waiting, I'm sick of waiting, and this chapter isn't showing any signs of ending soon...so the story will end with a FOURTH chapter! Will Jinx's cover be blown? How far did Raven go with Terra? Are Jinx and Starfire gonna get it on with each other? And most importantly, will Raven and Jinx ever be together again? All shall be revealed in the fourth and final chapter of Forbidden Fruit!

Obsessed with lesbianism as much as I am? Well, head on to my corporate headquarters (or "corporate headquarters", rather) at Words of a Madman! It's insane how female homoerotic things are getting there (thanks in part to the breast molesting antics of Neko Yogurt)! You can find a link on my profile. Just click on my name. Also, checking my profile can keep you abreast of what's going on with my fanfic projects (yes, Masturbation chapter 2 will be done eventually).

Oh, and if you need some more incentive to check out WOAM, the first script of the yuri drama "Elf Porn" is gonna be up soon. Yes, that's right. "Elf Porn". (And the number of visitors skyrockets!)

update: FUCK IT! For God's fucking sake, what is wrong with this shit! I recently looked at how this looked up, and I can see now what people are complaining about! People, I'm sorry. I'm truly, deeply sorry, but you have to blame for this. Good God, this looks like shit. SPACE EVERY LINE! Jesus Christ, I am _not_ making tons of hard returns just to try and alleiviate this crap! Reveiwers, take this fomatting nonsense up with itself. Anyone who wants to see how this is supposed to look, pop on over to WOAM, and I'll get to work on posting copies there. And if you wanna see it in all it's original, unmolested glory (with fancy pants indents and stuff), I'll be glad to email a copy to anyone who wants it (assuming, of course, the library computers quit freaking out over attachments).


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